how to be your true, beautiful and authentic self: Practical Advice from an expert life coach
What it means to be your authentic self
Authenticity is not something you must aspire to be. It’s something you already are. The minute you arrived on this planet you were a whole and authentic being. You came to this earth with a mission and a purpose in mind. Your physical make-up, your personality, your quirks, your hopes and dreams, your fears and your radiant way of being -- were all exactly as they should be, in a wonderfully beautiful mix that is only true to you. You were born with all the authenticity you’ll ever need.
But maybe you don’t feel so authentic now. Perhaps you feel out of sorts with that inner being that glows naturally and loves without reservations. If that’s how you feel, I’d say that’s quite natural.
All of us start life as full, whole, authentic, and loving beings -- but as life goes on, it is most common that we forget where we started. Science tells us that from birth to age 7 our minds are like sponges, soaking up everything that is going on around us. We watch intensely as the adults in our lives explain to us the rules of life. This is when we shape our world paradigm on money, religion, relationships, and the world at large. Most of us soak all of this information up as a child, store it in our subconscious and never again question our worldviews.
The problem with that is that it keeps us in a box that might not fit anymore. Our parents' stories and paradigms weigh heavy on us, yet we wonder why it is so hard for us to throw them off and go our own way.
Perhaps you’ve read a self-help book or two. Maybe you’ve tried meagerly to change into something else, but it just feels exhausting; like you’re swimming upstream.
That’s because you’re trying to medicate the effects of the illness, not the root of it. You are changing things on the surface, while ignoring the roots that continuously produce more of the same old fruit.
Your path to authenticity will require you going under the surface, to the root of all beliefs -- the subconscious, also known as your soul. In this place we can clear out the old programming and make space for the new -- or what was originally there, rather. You know in your depths who you are and why you are here, you just need a little help remembering.
What does it mean to be authentic?
The dictionary definition of authentic is genuine. Something real. Something original. You are all of those things already, as I’ve previously explained. To be authentic is to be yourself minus all of the trappings of your false identity.
You are not your job title. You are not your familial role. You are not your degree. You are not simply a parent, a spouse, or a member of an organization. These are false identities. The true you is not a title or role or personality. The true you is an essence that cannot be named. It is you simply being. The act of being is where you’ll find your authenticity.
But what does it mean to become your most authentic-self?
It means to reconnect with yourself on a soul-level and find the truth that is waiting for you there. This is also where your inner-guidance or intuition lives. I believe intuition is the voice of God within us. Here resides yoru highest wisdom and your highest, most loving consciousness for being alive on this earth. This inner wisdom will point you down your most-aligned path, which will bring you the highest possible amounts of joy, fulfillment and love that you can experience in this lifetime.
To be your most-authentic self is to live and breathe from the place of inner-guidance that keeps you in alignment with the highest joy, fulfillment and love that you were born to receive.
All of the facades you’ve learned to put on over the years as a means of playing safe, keeping small and pleasing others must be shed, in order for your true brilliance to shine forth. It’s time to reawaken on a soul level. A subconscious level. The true you is waiting.
How to Become Authentic
Becoming authentic involves aligning your actions, beliefs, and values with your true self. Here's a guide to help you along the way:
Self-Reflection:
Start by understanding yourself. Reflect on your values, passions, strengths, weaknesses, and what truly matters to you. Journaling, meditation, or simply taking quiet moments for introspection can help.
Embrace Imperfections:
Authenticity involves accepting yourself, flaws and all. Embrace your imperfections—they make you unique. It's about being genuine, not perfect.
Live Your Values:
Identify your core values and let them guide your decisions and actions. Aligning your life with your values brings a sense of purpose and authenticity.
Honest Communication:
Be truthful with yourself and others. Practice open and honest communication. Express your thoughts and feelings sincerely without fear of judgment.
Avoid Comparison:
Comparison often leads to masking your true self to fit societal standards. Focus on your journey and growth, not on how you measure up to others.
Set Boundaries:
Establish boundaries that honor your needs and well-being. Learn to say no when necessary, and prioritize self-care without guilt.
Embrace Vulnerability:
Being authentic means being vulnerable at times. Allow yourself to be open, share your experiences, and connect with others on a deeper level.
Authentic Actions:
Act in alignment with your beliefs and values. This means being consistent in your behavior, whether in personal relationships, work, or other areas of life.
Continuous Growth:
Authenticity is a journey, not a destination. Embrace growth and change. Keep exploring, learning, and evolving as you discover more about yourself.
Self-compassion:
Be kind to yourself. Embracing authenticity can be challenging, so practice self-compassion and forgive yourself when you falter.
Remember, authenticity is about being true to yourself and living a life that resonates with who you are at your core. It's a process that requires self-awareness, courage, and a willingness to embrace your uniqueness.
Exercises for being your authentic self
In my book, Brazenly Beautiful, I share 7 simple exercises to begin your journey of self-discovery. The book includes plenty of journaling prompts to help you dive down to your subconscious, or soul-level and take a look around. At this level you can see what belongs and what doesn’t. You use your inner-guidance to feel into each situation, each role, each action and decide for yourself whether or not it is of your highest good and purpose or not.
One of my favorite exercises, which appears in Chapter 5 of Brazenly Beautiful, is the exercise of Self-Expression. As children we all express ourselves independently without much fear of what others will think. Then, almost in a flash, we are older and suddenly we are so fearful of the opinions of others that we decide we can’t draw, paint, sing, dance or write poetry anymore. It’s too scary. Too risky. We wouldn’t want to disappoint daddy again, would we?
Of course we don’t think this thought quite literally, but our subconscious does. The job of our ego is to keep us safe. Oftentimes we hold on to a memory from childhood that made us feel scared or alone or afraid. Memories like this that directly relate to self-expression (sharing our opinion, creating art, performing freely) can easily shut off our self-expression entirely and lead us to become adults who feel voiceless. This is especially true for chronic people-pleasers or empaths.
Do you ever feel like a doormat? Do you feel like people walk all over you without a second thought? Perhaps you have people-pleasing tendencies that stem from your inability to express yourself authentically.
>>More on that in a post I wrote about why authenticity matters.
How to express your authentic self
Start by grabbing a pen and paper and journaling your thoughts. Journaling is a great exercise to uncover your own truths that may be hidden behind self-consciousness, fear, doubts and egotistical thinking.
You can write about your day, how you are feeling or what you really want to say to someone, but don’t feel ready to do so. If you need additional help, feel free to download my free workbook with 10 Writing Prompts to Find Your Authenticity.
Affirmations for becoming your Authentic Self
Affirmations are a great way to change old thought patterns into new life-giving thoughts that reflect the authenticity you are stepping into.
In my book, Brazenly Beautiful, chapter three is all about how to effectively use affirmations as a tool for changing the worn-out old thoughts running on repeat in your brain. If you’d like to learn the full process for changing subconscious thoughts, I recommend reading my book. For now, I’ll share a few of my favorite affirmations with you so you can get started.
I am enough.
My authenticity is beautiful.
I am love and light.
I am not ashamed to be myself.
I am brilliantly wonderful just as I am.
I am everything I am supposed to be.
Choose the Path of Authenticity
Uncovering your authentic self takes time. It is a life-long journey of remembering; not something that can be done in an instant or overnight. If you truly want to live with all of your true colors shining forth, you’ll have to commit to healing the parts of you that hide the truth; the authenticity within.
Start by practicing self-expression. This is a major wound for many of us and takes time to feel comfortable doing again. If you’d like extra accountability, I’d love to chat further with you about working together 1-on-1.
May your truest self come forth. My hope is for you to dance freely with all of yourself fully in the moment. To love wholly and without reserves and to spend your day joyously belly-laughing at all the good things life has to offer.
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