How to stop overthinking and be happy

Overthinking is a sign that you have some work to do, friend.  Many of my one-on-one clients come to me when they are stuck in the cycle of overthinking.  Making a decision, changing their mind, going back and forth like a metronome until they drive themselves absolutely crazy. 

The fear behind overthinking can take many forms:

• Perfectionism

• Fear of failure

• Fear of not being good enough 

• Not trusting yourself

• Not loving yourself

• Fear of rejection

• Fear of what others will think  

How do you know when you’re overthinking something

Overthinking happens when any of the above conditions are not dealt with on the subconscious (or soul) level.  You may think everything is fine until a big decision comes along.  Suddenly you are crazier than a bat and second-guess yourself every five seconds.  While I can give you a few tips to make it over this one decision hump, I highly recommend seeking out a therapist or life coach to clear the deeper root of this issue.  If you’d like to try out an Intuitive Art Experience coaching session with me, I’d be more than happy to paint you some clarity around your situation. This way for more info.

Tips on how to stop overthinking and be happy

1. Release the idea of perfectionism

Many of my clients fear that they won’t be perfect at something so they choose not to do it at all.  What’s worse than trying and failing is not trying at all.  Now, read that sentence again and replace the word “trying” with the word “living.”  The only thing worse than living and failing, is not living at all.  Perfectionism is a deep-rooted fear that will paralyse your life if you let it. 

1. Know that there is no such thing as mistakes in life

Most of the time analysis paralysis comes from the deep rooted fear of failure.  You were taught as a child to be perfect and to not make mistakes.  Now you are a full-grown adult and this fear is deeply rooted within you.  The problem is that there really aren’t any mistakes in life, only chances to grow and learn.  If you believe that, you’ll be just fine. 

1. Trust your inner-voice

Sometimes your best bet is to lean into what your gut says, and just go for it.  This doesn’t mean it won't be scary or hard, but it usually will lead you in the right direction for the long term.  The trick is to make your decision and commit fully to it.  Second-guessing yourself is not an act of self-love or self-trust. For more on this, see my article about decision making here.

1. Be bold and take a risk. 

Oftentimes life gives us the opportunity to expand; to step into a greater version of ourselves. To own our power, speak our truth and live the life we are called to live.  If you are overthinking currently, you may be hiding behind fear.  The best advice I can give you is, “feel the fear and do it anyway.”  Your intuition is never wrong.

4 ways overthinking steals your joy:

1. Overthinking is an enemy of productivity

Are you like that, or do you overthink a lot? While thinking is very beneficial, I'm afraid that overthinking is an enemy of productivity. I know many people who try to do their best, but fail due to overthinking a problem.

Other times I've witnessed creative masters destroy themselves because of their lack of acceptance in their own work. They think they can do better and so they keep pushing and keep working and keep changing a product that was finished a long time ago. They simply lack the ability to accept their work the way it is and walk away. This often times leads to paralysis by overthinking.

2. Overthinking causes paralysis

Despite my careless ways, I too, have fallen victim to overthinking. This most commonly happens in a field I know I have many thoughts about. A type of industry I've studied and know how to interact with. When you are new at something you really don't have the audacity to overthink things and so you act either on impulse or by instruction. Once you've mastered something, it is easier to overthink it.

For me, marketing is a great example of this. I seem to be able to do this for everyone else but myself. When it comes to my own work, I almost always overthink my marketing strategy. What if I change my mind later on? If I do change my mind, then I don't want to start marketing what I have now. I'd rather start fresh with the one idea that's going to last me a lifetime. I mean, how will people know my distinct style if I change my mind after I've already spent time and effort marketing a different style? Maybe I just won't market my stuff yet. Actually, I don't even think I should share it with anyone until I know it's perfectly how I want it...and that's never going to happen.

Invevitably I allow my fear and paranoia to paralyze my creative endevours.  Nothing changes.  Nothing gets done.  No one benefits. 

But is that any way to live the one and only life we've been given??  I think not.  Paralysis can be deadly to not only your career but your personal relationships and creative ambition.  It isn't a pretty picture.  How's that for overthinking?

Have you experienced this? The anxiety of small, daily decisions can easily wrap itself around our thoughts so intensely that we become completely paralyzed in our ability to make healthy, productive motions towards reaching our goals. In that aspect, overthinking destroys dreams.

Think about it, how many dreams have you let die because you thought about them too long? How many awesome opportunities have slipped through your fingers, not because you didn't want to jump on them, but because you thought about it so hard that you psyched yourself out of doing it?

3. Overthinking murders our ambitious thoughts, before they have a chance to blossom.

What dream has overthinking destroyed for you? What decision-making process has overthinking currently delayed in your life? Maybe you are similar to me in that you make quick and precise judgements and that has served you well. Maybe you're an over-thinker who delights in pondering. Both can have devastating effects, but I've never had regrets trusting my gut instinct.

4. Overthinking shadows your gut-intuition that points you to true north

I've said it before, but that thing that keeps your daydreams active, the thing that gnaws at you day and night, you know the thing...that's your gut talking. Your gut is perfectly capable of making destiny-shaping decisions for your benefit. The scary part is trusting that gut and acting on that thing. What is it that you need to trust? What is that gut feeling that you've let fall dormant to the curse of overthinking?

Are you thinking you aren't good enough? You aren't ready. You don't have enough support. You can't afford it. You won't make a difference.

Whatever your thoughts are, you have to push them all aside, take a deep breath and sit very still so that you can hear that soft, warm voice in your gut telling you exactly what you should be doing at this very moment of life.

Your intuition and the passion in your belly tie together perfectly. They were placed there for a reason, not by accident.

It takes real courage to step out and trust this inkling, but you'll regret forever if you don't try. Use today to take a small step in that direction. Do something brave that affirms that intuitive passion of yours. I dare ya!

Also, be sure and check out my article about the two types of decision processes and when to know which to use.