From Burnout to Bliss: Riding the Waves of Change
I’ve often been told that my life is straight from a Hallmark movie. I 100% feel that way, especially with my latest adventure. After 10 years of surfing the globe, growing my business and really and truly stepping into my true self, I’m coming full circle (again). Seems like I have a lot of full circle moments in my life.
This time I’m stepping back into a role I had when I was a young and eager 22 year old. Back then I was so thrilled to people please my way through life. Well - I had started reading a few books on boundaries, made a great escape from college to live my dharma, but then bounced back into the most people-pleasing job I can think of.
I was only in that position for 2 years, but at the end of those 2 years I was fully and completely burnt out. Spent. Exhausted emotionally, spiritually and mentally.
I was paid minimum wage for what was a very important role in our community. I worked well over 40 hours each week and still had to put in all nighters bartending at my favorite dive bar to make ends meet.
My goal back then: keep everyone happy. To make everyone proud. To exceed expectations.
That goal was met.
But at what expense?
Is it worth meeting someone else’s goals and expectations for you if the cost is loosing your balance and sanity?
That was a tough lesson. A lot of tough lessons. It took me a year or so to unwind from all those lessons.
So when I was first approached about taking this position again, it was a HELL NO for me. Absolutely not. I dont have the time, the energy or the ability to work like that anymore.
But then I saw this huge wave of passion move through me - yes through me - which is what spirit does when I’m in flow and allowing things to happen as they should (see, the concept of the Tao). I was spending a lot of time, energy and daydreaming thinking about how I can improve my community. I was doing this, as a volunteer. It was my wise mother who pointed out, well then why don’t you take the position and put your ideas to full fruition.
After months of consideration, (and creating lots of different versions of my calendar and how this could even be a possibility with a yoga-reiki-art business, and a full time business coaching career) I decided it was worth a shot. Plus, the position is only part-time now and the organization is willing to work with my already full schedule.
I officially accepted the position last Wednesday, followed by a quick and dirty training day on Thursday, which was followed by a full weekend of thinking “What did I just do!?” 😭😫
Fears came up from my depths.
-what if I burn out again 😣
-I’m going to disappoint so many people because I’m not who I was back then. I won’t be how I was then.
-I don’t care about all the fake politics and people pleasing anymore. What if I piss everyone off because I’m focused on what I truly believe in? 😔
-There’s no way I can fit in the hours they are asking. Maybe I should go ahead and call this a mistake and stay where I am. I love my new home office! I love my career as it is!
But just as my fears began to swirl out of control, I stopped and I journaled. I meditated. I drew cards. I listened to the still small voice within.
It isn’t about you. It isn’t about you being something you’re not. It’s about you being exactly as you are. Who you are. You are enough as you are. You don't need to change for anyone. You simply must be who you are and trust your inner guidance as you are in a habit of doing. Be who you are and trust the source of life and that’s it. We just want someone to trust our guidance and be used by Source. That’s all. You are enough. You are wonderful, just as you are. We are here with you now, guiding your every move. One foot in front of the other, love. One foot.
Lately I’ve been studying the ancient Chinese concept of the “Tao”, which from what I understand is pretty much about letting things be as they are. Going with the flow of life instead of swimming upstream against it.
In the book, “The Tao of Allowing”, author G.P. Walsh, likens the concept of allowing as that of a surfer. Surfer’s don’t push against the current and try to move the whole ocean so it makes sense to them. No. Instead they relax and go with the flow of the waves. They trust the ocean and ride with it. 🌊
Everything that’s happened in my life the past few years has felt like surfing.
Last fall the new building essentially fell into my lap. The remodel is 95% done and we are super close to opening (I’m so pumped!)
I’m dating a fantastic guy, which started with a very synchronistic reconnection….
And now, as these things happen, another opportunity that just *felt right*, has fallen into my lap.
Sometimes our job isn’t to *figure it out* or *work harder for your goals*.
Sometimes our job is to relax into the moment and be where we are.
Enjoy the process.
Follow your fire.
Laugh a little.
When you relax into the wave and let it carry you, all of a sudden things become effortless.
Flow.
You become just as you are.
You are.
.
.