How to Make REAL Online Friends - A True Story
I met my long-time friend and business colleague for the first time in real life, and this is what happened
For as long as I’ve been a high school graduate, I’ve had my sights set on being one of those mysterious, online gurus who had both financial and location independence that comes from doing what they love.
In 2010 this dream was related to some sort of blogging venture. Though blogging then was more of daily journal entries, and now it is much more strategic and niched -- I still knew there was something with that online entrepreneur lifestyle that called to me.
For years I worked toward this goal, but it wasn’t until 2019 that I actually quit my day job and went full time into growing an online coaching business. This was years before the pandemic (okay not years, but it sure feels that way now!) I had painstakingly designed my life around my laptop, so that I can work online and move about the country (or countries) with ease. Everything was taking off just as it should, when the big pandemic hit. Suddenly, whether they wanted to be or not, EVERYONE was online. While the world panicked about this big shift, I sat calmly doing what I had sat out to do all along. I moved states, settled into my first home office and continued to run my online business. At this point I had lots of online friends all over the world. Contractors, teammates, consultants, coaches -- I'd say I was very well connected in the online entrepreneur atmosphere.
But all at once it seemed, I was alone in a new city with no actual IRL friends. Some crazy disease had shut down most downtown networking events and places to gather. Who did I have to meet for a REAL coffee or a REAL glass of wine? Virtual coffee dates are awesome, but honestly, after 60 minutes my eyes are begging for a break.
It’s a weird kind of loneliness to talk to people you love all day long, but log off at 5pm and still feel very alone. Despite all of my phone call buddies, online business besties and dream mentors, I still felt like my social life was lacking.
I started 2021 with the goal of getting more involved in my local community, in hopes of making fresh connections offline. However, as 2021 (and the pandemic) went on, this goal proved harder than I initially expected. In between joining the local chamber and arts associations, I continued building out my online biz, which led to bringing in a long-time online friend as a partner. For the past two years we’d basically kept in contact through virtual monthly coffee dates. Now we were chatting daily about all things business, marketing, networking and scale. When the opportunity arose for us to attend a conference IRL together, we both jumped at the chance.
Finally after two years of friendship and working together, I met my friend Jenni in person. The first thing out of my mouth was, “hey, you’re taller than I thought!” It suddenly occurred to me that I had only ever seen her from the shoulders up. She looked at me, shrugged and said, “well--you’re shorter than I thought.” We hugged and carried her luggage inside.
The next day we had a 7-hour car ride to the conference. I was excited to have so much uninterrupted time to talk with her, since normally we worked in 60 to 90 minute increments. Still, another part of me feared we’d run out of things to talk about, get awkward and ruin a really good online thing. I imagine this is how most people feel on their first date after chatting for months online through a dating site.
It’s a really strange thing to meet an online connection in the flesh. In the world I live in, we’re all zooming around so fast between virtual meetings that you never know what to expect. Some of my most heartfelt and honest connections have been made through the interwebs, with other business owners, coaches and healers. It seems now that it is harder to meet people in the physical reality who fit my desires and needs for friendship.
I once made a reel explaining the odd feeling of doing EVERYTHING online. Because -- when all of your clients, friends and colleagues are virtual -- it’s not uncommon to close your laptop at the end of the day and wonder if all of this is really happening or if it’s just someone’s catfishing joke stemming from the simulation theory. I mean, if you think about it long enough…
Meeting Jenni in person was incredible for both of us. I believe it strengthened our relationship and understanding of one another. I wouldn’t trade it for the world. My one bit of advice for entrepreneurs is of the importance of making connections and friends both online and off.
Tips for Cultivating Business Relationships:
Building strong business relationships is essential for any successful business. It’s important to have people in your network that you trust and can rely on. Whether it’s online or offline, having the right connections can help you get further in life and help you reach your goals faster.
Whether it’s finding new customers, getting advice or just having a chat, cultivating relationships with like-minded professionals can be beneficial to both parties. In this article, we will look at some tips for building strong business relationships with your “biz besties” and how to maintain them over time.
Making Connections IRL
Join your local Chamber of Commerce or Young Professionals Group. Is there a networking event in your area? Dust off those high-school hand-shaking skills and get to work meeting people IRL. I guarantee you you’ll be glad you did.
Here are a list of places to network locally:
Local Chamber of Commerce
Meet Up Entrepreneur Groups
Coffee Meet Ups organized by you
Business besties are invaluable when it comes to growing your business and achieving success. So don't forget to take advantage of all the opportunities available for networking - both online and offline - so that you can find the right people who will help you reach your goals!
Oh, and online friends -- make an effort to visit one another in person -- even if you’re across the country or around the world. Deepen the connections you already love and everyone benefits.
👇Check out a quick reel on this concept below👇
Peers not Clients
After taking the latest social media marketing class, it can feel like every interaction that doesn’t end in a dollar sign is a waste. I beg to differ. Some of my closest friends and partners have blossomed out of relationships that intentionally were started with no sales call in mind. I didn’t ask anything from them and they didn’t ask anything from me. We just...connected, as two humans do. Don’t underestimate the importance of online peers. Peers can easily become friends if you follow the advice of the next paragraph.
Friendships require Intentional Nurturing
The thing that built a solid foundation for Jenni and I, is that we intentionally nurtured our relationship with one another. We would have a coffee date via Zoom, and then immediately after I wrote a note in my planner to circle back to her in another month and see how she was doing, perhaps planning our next coffee date. This intentional nurturing went on for over a year, simply because we liked to keep in touch. I truly enjoyed hearing about her struggles and successes and I believe she felt the same way about mine.
👉🏻Note: Sometimes I intentionally set coffee dates with a peer 2 or 3 times, but one of us then loses interest in circling back again. That’s okay too. Not every connection is meant to be a lifelong friend. However, when you find someone you vibe with, it’s worth your time to maintain a consistent mutual relationship. Use your inner-guidance for best judgment.
Making friends Online
Jenni and I have the solid relationship that we do because over the years we have both been very intentional about staying in touch. Hold up -- let’s back up even further -- we initially became friends because one of us asked the other one out on a virtual coffee date. Yup - someone had to take the first brave step and inquire about the other one! I hear so many entrepreneurs complaining about loneliness, and yet they don’t put themselves out there enough.
Each and every time I join an online community, I friend request, connect and DM as many people as possible -- all of course from the perspective of making a true connection (not a sale) and, much like online dating, if their profile does not feel like a good fit for me, I don’t reach out just because I want to fulfill a friend quota of some sort. There has to be a genuine connection in order for beautiful things to bloom. Remember that.
P. S. Jenni and I met through a fabulous online business community called WAIM. Learn more about that here.
>>I also wrote an article on Why I love WAIM here.
