the art of acceptance
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
-The Serenity Prayer
One of the lessons I've been learning this summer has been the art of acceptance. For ambitious women like you and I, acceptance can be hard because it feels like we are settling, giving up or giving in. At times our laser focused ambition is our greatest gift and at other times it can be our own biggest block.
When my Dad passed away in December of 2021, shortly after the funeral I was given a vision for what to do with his barn. I saw myself living there and hosting workshops and retreats there, in what I believe to be the most peaceful place on earth.
In 2023 I left my long term relationship to follow my vision and move back home to make it happen. One year later and nothing has moved with this vision. I’ve approached it from every different angle. I’ve prayed and pushed. I’ve surrendered and walked away. I’ve connected to the land, I’ve gotten advice from shamans and healers and my therapist as well as builders and makers and renovators. Regardless of all the effort and wisdom I’ve sought - nothing is happening. I’ve done the subconscious work, I’ve done the neurological reprogramming, I’ve done rituals and called in guidance…nothing.
Sometimes our greatest strength is not in buckling down and forcing something to happen or forcing someone to change; but rather the part where we let go of all the outcomes and accept the reality of the situation.
For me and the barn project that looks like backing away and letting things be for a while. I’m now looking at buying my own home and in less than a week of this new journey I feel so much more empowered, in my natural flow state and excited with what is to come!
>>📘Grab my best-selling journal for self-love, confidence and clarity here.
I’ve also had to learn to more deeply accept people as they are.
As a coach, I want to help others. I want to serve them; sometimes more than they do. And yet a lot of my pain and suffering has actually come from my own judgments and need to try and control other people. This is actually a very disempowering way to be.
A wise mentor once told me, “You can’t want it more than your clients do.” This advice changed my practice. The same is true in familial relationships, friendships and partnerships of all kinds. You cant want to change them more than they want to change. It's one thing when they deeply want to change and ask for your advice. It's quite another when they simply want to be heard.
📘Another good read: 4 Steps to Making Your Dream Life a Reality
I’ve had a couple of friends who aren't as kind and fun and compassionate as I want them to be. Even though I wasn't coaching them to their face and trying to make them better, I was in my mind and that was causing me a whole lot of pain and frustration. Every Time I was around them I would leave feeling short-ended and disappointed, then I'd be in a tizzy for days wondering why they weren’t the way they used to be. Peace and serenity for me, came when I decided to accept them for what they are, and resist the urge to make reality different than it is.
>>Grab my best-selling journal for self-love, confidence and clarity here.
It’s actually very unkind of me to judge someone as different from how I want them to be. It’s putting myself in the position of being God and that just isn't the case. I do not own or control any other human on the planet and to desire for someone to behave or react differently than how they do is unloving.
I can accept people for how they are and still disagree with them.
I can accept people for how they are and not make them my best friend.
I can accept people for how they are and choose something different for myself personally.
At the end of the day we can only take response-ability (our ability to respond) for ourselves. Everything and everyone else is out of our control. The highest and best, most loving thing we can do is accept everything else. It is what it is. I am who I am. That’s all.
>>Grab my best-selling journal for clarity and confidence on your life’s purpose here.
Peaceful Prompts
✍️Are you secretly trying to control an outcome, a person or a situation? How do you feel when you try to do this?
✍️What would it look like to accept the situation for what it is and find peace in the present reality?
✍️What feelings come up for you when you think about doing this?
✍️What’s your next steps?
>>Grab my best-selling journal for self-love, confidence and clarity here.
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